On Wanderwood Lane
The fictitious setting of a very REAL life.
Easy Like Sunday Morning
It’s early, not unusually early, but early and my little houseguest (my nephew J), although he claims to have just woken up when I did, is already, practically bursting with anticipatory energy.
I’m no stranger to this time of morning but my pace/energy are much different. Our visits have become this, truthfully kind of amazing, dance of mutual compromises lately, as I try to live out all of the lessons of my personal growth journey, but I am getting a little of topic.
This morning’s compromise was turning on Battlefront before coffee so that I could make the coffee and start a round of laundry before even being asked if he could play. From the kitchen I could hear the firing of laser rifles and the propulsion of a jet pack, so I knew his first character choice of the day was Boba Fett.
Just as I was pouring my first cup of coffee, he came round the corner to ask me what I was doing and to tell me about his first victory. Between the Hoth cave in/outs and enemy ambushes, all to which I smiled and nodded, he ended the the tale with this gem “sometimes you have to make the move you think is the riskiest, to win”.
At this point he chuckled and ran back in to the living room to then, no doubt or surprise to me, terrorize some rebels as his favorite villain, Palpatine, and left me to stand, a little dumbfounded by the coffee pot.
I am so use to my “quiet” mornings but if I can be really honest, they aren’t all that quiet. Environmentally, yes, and the pace is slow but my mind, most morning/days is the opposite. What a point of massive gratitude that this morning, the simple but profound wisdom of a small voice, pierced the very heart of the matter.
I all too often associate risk with intense/serious situations but here, lately, everything has been spurring me forward, the years of self work/growth/healing have led, over and over again to more peace, calm and understanding.
Just when I get to that rhythm, however, I notice that I start to feel the vastness of that wide, open, path…and I start to panic a little, begin to look around frantically, even sometimes digging, for the next “thing”.
My “invitation” as I’ve started calling it, the past few weeks has been to “stay the course”…don’t run, don’t withdrawal, don’t push away, don’t hide…don’t self abandon…don’t create a false narrative by being in constant thought…just stay the course.
So here I am at the, albeit unintentional, challenge of my young nephew.
What if the risk, for me, in this particular season, is to stop the excavation process of my life for a while, especially when I’m being presented with a wide open landscape and let things just happen, to stop anticipating what’s around the bend and even better, prematurely trying to protect myself from it…because…maybe, just maybe, I don’t need to.
Maybe a win (or more) awaits me and maybe all the goodness I hope and wish for everyone else is something I can start believing in for myself (and not just talk about believing in).
Here’s hoping!
Happy Sunday!
What Can You See, On The Horizon
Good Morning my friends!
If this is your first time here, WELCOME and thank for being here, today!!!
To my return visitors, I give a gigantic gratitude hug and for those who happen to know me personally, I take my hugs very seriously! I hope you feel it, even in the smallest of ways, this very moment.
I happen to be fresh off a three day writing conference #hwconference2022 (much more on that soon!) and while it could be very, very easy to put this exchange off as a ride of the that high, if you have been around for any length of time, at all, you know I wouldn’t have popped in today, if there wasn’t a deeper take away.
***And, also, I don’t intend to merely ride this new wave, I intend to WRITE IT!!
There’s so much I could say about my writing journey and it will all, likely find it’s way here as we go along but this morning I got the download that’s meant for this conversation.
It’s not something that’s come up a lot here or on the socials but I’ve been a Licensed Massage and Bodywork Therapist (LMBT) for 11 years and have had the privilege of building/running my own practice for that entire length of time. When I started out, though I believed very passionately in the work I would do, I was a bundle of insecurity and nerves. It took several years to get to a point to where it would be what the industry would call successful but once I got there, I stayed there for many more years and saw as many people as I possibly could.
Around year 8, I was very confident in my craft, my skills and ability to help my clientele. At that point I had also begun to explore my second modality of healing arts (Reiki) and noticed a similar pattern of starting with insecurity/nerves and have also noticed that continuing to practice it makes me more confident/secure and “better” at it and that, makes it all the more magical.
I tell you all of that because sometime around May of 2021, I hit a breaking point. In all of the truth of the knowledge of the good I was doing, of the financial stability/success a lucrative practice created and all of the healing I helped facilitate, the loudest truth was that I was suffocating, and it took months to figure out how to breathe again and, in that truth, I am still learning.
In August of 2021 I took a massive step back from those practices, accepted an unrelated part time position at place that I’ve never really left and decided that it was time to work on my writing…but did I really do that?
What I’ve realized this morning is that in regard to writing, I have never practiced it enough to get out of that space of insecurity and nerves BUT in the reflection of the rest of my life thus far, I know that I CAN do it!
My healing practices still exist in a very small but sacred space and as a practitioner, knowing that is what I needed at this point in my career, saved it, saved me and brought all the magic back into it.
Now, here, today, I am ready to see that kind of sacredness and magic grow from the sharing of the words on my heart. The beauty of it is (encouraged by one of the keynotes of the conference) that it might look like a blog post here (or on my other space WeGeekGirls), an Instagram post, a Tweet, a novel, an entire series, a screen play, a comic or a handwritten letter BUT it will, never, be nothing.
For the masses, for you or just for me, I will get them out into the world.
Let’s flow ❤
I guess it’s just the Hobbit in me
Thinking back on today’s prompt has made me smile very widely 🙂
Memories of myself as a little girl, running out of the house barefoot and onto whatever terrain awaited me, are the reason for that smile. The feeling of each surface is still fresh sensory.
Most of my young life, I lived right beside my grandparents, on street filled with great aunts/uncles and second cousins. The warmth of the foot stones that led from my back door to the basement next door often determined how quickly I made that journey and my feet were made tender by the heat more than once. I’d cross the gravel drive that broke up the acres of front yard with the same delicacy.
I absolutely loved the way the grass felt under my feet (still do) and I would regularly take off running through it until my breath caught in my chest. Often, I’d hit a patch of prickly weed that would slow me for a bit but once the sting was gone, it was forgotten. The same is true for the handful of times that sting I felt was from the bee I’d accidentally crushed beneath those running feet.
Shoes, I had them, of course, but I wouldn’t be bothered to slip them on most of the time. I couldn’t have known, as a child, how healthy (and sacred) that practice was and I look back with massive gratitude that I gave those tootsies the freedom I did.
It was more than the freedom and frivolity I was enjoying, it was the connection to life that I was feeling, though I know it takes many an adult mile to fully realize that. I enter that field a bit more mindfully these days, as the bottoms of my feet are far too use to the encasement of shoes to take off running on a whim, but I do, still try to connect to the energy that pulses through every, living, thing. It’s a newer concept called ‘grounding’ these days but I like the think that somehow, tiny Candice, could tell that there was something special about it all, way back then.
Looking back at everything I typed, my title has bit more weight to it than just running around without the need for shoes and my deep kinship with what has become my favorite fictional race, has deep roots and that, again, makes me smile really widely 🙂 🙂 🙂
There and back again,
~CC
I Wish My Family Knew That…
What a truly perfect time to be writing this one! Truly!
I’m at the very cusp of 4-0 and I could not have and, very likely, would not have made it to this point without them…they who are now a blend of both blood relative and deeply bonded friend.
The road has most definitely taken many a mountain pass but as it’s so famously said, it’s made me the very person typing this right now. A person that I, now, love very deeply, that I am proud of and that I joyfully share with those of you that read this.
Family…
I am as whole as I can be at this moment in time and I owe a great deal of that wholeness to all of the words of encouragement/love/support that I can now hear/receive and with great/sincere hope, echo back to you.
My cup is full of love, joy, peace, etc. and when it overflows, I share it with everyone that I can. When it isn’t, I lean into all of the sources that so generously share it with me and we nourish each other as best we can.
My dreams take flight now, no longer caged by my own doing. I don’t know where or how they will eventually take root and produce fruit BUT they are alive and free! I promise!
I will never, ever, give up on myself. I am the best proof I have that every amount of doing the deep work on one’s ‘self’ yields the most incredible beauty, at every single turn and though that never spares pain, it rallies around it and holds it till it passes into something that hurts a bit less.
When I was a young girl, dreaming of what my family would look like one day, I could have never pictured the one that I have received, this incredible blend of lives choosing to love/give/serve one another. I am blessed, grateful and filled with deep love for you all.
<3<3<3
Between the Crashing of Waves
Reading is one of my absolutely favorite things to do. It’s been very eye opening over these past few years to realize how very easily I can forget how much I enjoy something in the leaving it undone.
For most of my adulthood, and probably longer if I tried to trace it, I’d spent more time being intimidated out of actually doing things than I ever did completing them. Overwhelmed by every, single, thing took lots of joy out of them. That doesn’t negate all of the things I did accomplish and enjoy, of course, it just pulls at my heart strings a little bit that I let what I thought my TBR/Read pile should look like keep me from so many worlds/characters/stories…
I can’t really say what it is about this year that makes me want to get so many grooves back but I am going to ride those waves, as far as they will take me.
Speaking of waves, I managed to read a couple of books while on vacation at the beach this past May and that felt really, really good! Thankfully, I found my reading momentum is right where I left it and ready for me to engage it at any time!!
The genre that I always want to read seaside makes me chuckle a little bit. I could let myself get swept away in (and if I’m totally honest, easily write) a super ooey gooey love story, sail the seas of adventure, or even a non-fiction account of the area but, every time, I choose to get my adrenaline pumping and my mind blown, with THILLERS.
The ocean/beach is very peaceful and I do let myself enjoy that serenity, I promise, but every moment in between, I am under the umbrella, enthusiastically turning pages.
Netlfix gave me my first introductions to Harlan Coban as they have done about 6 book adaptations now and The Woods is one of them, however, I decided I wanted to read them before I watch them, from now on, as they have all been ‘that good’.
Leave it to me to get my introduction to Colleen Hoover in her first book of this nature. My pal Jenn, at my favorite local coffee shop/used book store, told me that I wouldn’t be able to put Verity down and that when I did, I might need a little bit of time before picking up another book. She wasn’t wrong! This was the one that blew my mind, in fact, I am still not sure what really happened. If you like this particular genre, read it! It’s fantastic! I know I probably need to add more of her work to my list but I also, kind of, want to hold out to see if she will write more of these!!
***I read (and enjoyed) David Hosp last year but threw the photo in because I took it 🙂
So, that’s what I like to read beach/pool side!!
What about you??
It Feels Like Summer to Me
This is my first blog post utilizing the Hope Writers June writing prompts and OK, I already, kind of, cheated within this post by using ‘Summer’ in the title and now in the first sentence BUT here we are 🙂
Gone, at least for me, are the times when those HOT months between Spring/Fall contained anything outside of my day to day life…no breaks from school, no long vacations, no soaking in the long days of sun and fun. I guess it would be fair to say that, in my adulthood, I haven’t really ever looked forward to it.
This year, I am, however, trying to celebrate it a little bit more.
What I have found in that, is nothing short of spectacular. Oh, it’s HOT, and UGHHHHH do I dislike the heat BUT I have seen the most incredibly colorful sunsets (at almost 9pm). One evening, after a really messy storm, the entire sky was this brilliant shade of orange, peppered with purple. Another evening the orange/pink gave way to deep blue/green. I tried to capture each one with my phone camera but it simply didn’t do it justice.
Bedtime generally hits me around 9 and for the past few weeks, the sun isn’t down yet. It’s very weird to ‘try’ and go to sleep when it isn’t fully dark out and so I have drifted into this rather nice flow of reading a little bit by the fading sunlight. The book I chose fits perfectly for this as it’s contents take some time to process, so the few pages I am able to get through match perfectly the arrival of the nightsky and the back of my eyelids.
No matter what ‘shape’ I’ve been in my adulthood, I have spent it largely, fully covering up, which is absolutely miserable during those Summertime activities most look forward to and so you might also guess, I don’t generally do any of them. In the spirit of this one, though, I have gotten the most adventurous I have been in quite some time. I have swimsuits, that, yes, I do wear, shorter dresses, tank tops and several pair of shorts…although the sun seems to always forget my legs so you would never know they see it 😉 It has made the leaning in to those activities much more inviting…now, if I could just get the sun protection perfected.
While I am nowhere near ready to call it my favorite season, as it has the very tough competition of my beloved Autumn, I can say that Summer and I are becoming friends and I look forward to the rest of our time together this year!
Happy SUMMER all!!
Snow Days on the Lane
The scene captured below was the view from my porch this morning and all I could muster without leaving the warm, coziness of the living room. Part of me wanted to slip my boots on and hear the crunch of fresh fall under my feet but they had been left in the car (typical of me) and thus, probably colder than it was worth to retrieve them.
When I looked out and around, at the time, all was quiet, still and peaceful. No one stirred as far as I could see…it was magnificent. In a matter of minutes, my day was completely re-arranged. I pulled back my curtains to let the bright, white, sun reflected light pour in, started a cup of coffee and washed dishes while admiring more snow covered stillness framed by the kitchen window. It’s incredible to me that if I pause long enough, it looks like a storybook page.
When the dishes were done, I went to put my fitbit back on, out of habit, start some laundry and make mental note of all that I was going to “get done” today…In the brief moments it takes to fasten the clasp of that device, I realized that, today, I don’t want to be measured.
There is always something to be done and/or something I could do but hadn’t I just let the newly fallen snow and it’s stillness set the tone for my day!? Why would I want to ruin it with the haste and the counting of steps/heart rate and “zone mins” and tasks completed. Why should I ruin it!!?
I decided not to.
Now, I live and love in the middle of North Carolina, a place where we make such BIG DEAL of this kind of thing because it’s rare, beautiful and fleeting…we pause, enjoy and (most of us anyways) are overly careful because we haven’t been seasoned enough to do it any other way. If I can’t see the road, I don’t drive on it.
So, I completely changed my day even though I can already see blades of grass through it’s melting and the road beyond my quiet yard is traffic filled once again…I am choosing to let snow be ok…to let myself be still in the day, whatever else it entails.
Thankfully, a text of “what are you waiting for” brought me here but shades open or closed, nothing else about today needs to be counted, simply enjoyed.
I hope you enjoy your day too!!
Happy Saturday 🙂
Send a Flare into the Night
I have been waiting for the words for this one to come to me for a while now and though I wish they didn’t require the catalyst that they did, here I am, literally burning the midnight oil to let them have their way, because I do not set them free nearly enough.
The catalyst…well, the only real importance of it is…Jenga!!!!
Quicksand is the best word and visual that I can give you for the way that past few months have gone for me. Now, I don’t have personal experience with said quicksand but I know that the more you move, the more you sink and as so many movies show us, you need someone’s help to get out of it.
I had SO MUCH hope and excitement going in to my 39th year of life. The first 9 months and 9 days of 2021 had been spent diving DEEP into the rising and falling of getting to know who I really am and how I show up (and here is where I encourage YOU, no matter what age you are, to spend some time doing that). In the days leading up to my birthday weekend plans, I just knew I was going to climb up the ladder to the high dive of life, take a beautiful swan dive and swim with great enthusiasm to the next horizon.
There really is no telling how long it took me to realize that instead of the pool of crystal clear water, I landed in jello. Without full awareness, I stopped getting up to workout in the mornings (which I’d done solidly for over a year), and it wasn’t a slow fade, I just stopped. The zeal I had for my morning routine was replaced with that almost non existent yet not unfamiliar desire just to sleep. I could not wait to sleep and I couldn’t figure out why because my dreams weren’t the dreams of a dreamer, they were something else entirely.
Parts of me that thought I was well past using the scale as a measure of myself, looked once more and found it had gone up. Up…How in the name of actually figuring it out after ALL THIS TIME could that have happened!?! Shame attached itself like a led balloon and I ordered Pizza Hut for the 15th time.
Candice, what the heck is going on? I’ve asked myself this everyday for weeks.
How can THIS be my reality when I thought I was good? Great even? It’s important for me to interject here that this isn’t about weight gain (at all) but it is a part of my story, so it will find itself mentioned here a time or two.
Well, the answer has taken a long time to come to me but I did smile when it came in the form of a phrase I’d almost forgotten but found me none the less…Heavy & Light…that is life. I am going to soar with eagles, seek to lift as many of you amazing souls up as I can and I will love every, single moment of it…And then, without knowing how or why, sometimes, I’ll fall to the ground, wounded, because that is what happens when you go all in, like I do so often.
This time, I landed in quicksand…and…it has taken two months and help in the form of Jenga (please look it up if you don’t understand the reference). Whew, heavy & light indeed.
Now, it really is almost midnight and I will tell you why I posted a photo of a candle…
Tonight, after the same song came up in conversation that had called to me a week ago, I decided to have a bit of a symbolic ceremony…because, even though I really do love learning, healing, forgiving, growing, repeating…the quicksand is exhausting.
Here is the song
My jenga moment was what I needed, as tear filled as it was, to burn the ships.
Fear, that, for sure, is the thing that has to go, along with a boat load of other things (sea what I did there ;))
This year has taught me SO MUCH! This heart of mine is stronger and bigger than it ever has been AND is also not immune to the ache of vulnerable living…I don’t think I want it to be…
I DO, however, want to step into every new day, rise up from the dust, say a prayer and turn the tide…because I KNOW, OH FRIEND do I know…that who I am is NEVER wasted.
A FULL life surrounds me…love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfullness, gentleness and self control are what I pray for, every morning and I get a few of those right because they are reflected in the ones who choose me…and the ones who don’t, well, as HeMan would say “Good Journey”.
As far as dancing upon the heartache? I’d prefer to dance with it, and it isn’t to be dramatic or a martyr…it’s simply because I know that it’s a part of life and OH, how I want to LIVE IT WELL!!!!
This is my flare in to the night, Dear Reader! I’m here and I am so glad you are too!
~CC
A Tale of a Dream Come True
Ever since I named this part of Wanderwood Lane, I wanted it to be filled with something really special. I’ve enjoyed tea for years…and coffee too if I am honest, but I wanted this to be a celebration of all the joy it brings me to brew and steep a giant cup up (yes, I have to admit that the true tea cups only come out when I have company).
I’ve found the perfect product to get this celebration started.
While I orignally found Teeccino a couple of years ago, I didn’t get my full immersion in it until last year.
I was doing a special fitness challenge with my fit community last year and although it wasn’t a part of the challenge, I wanted to work on my caffiene intake. You see, when I made coffee, in the past, I’d make almost a full pot and drink on it until about 10am everyday…I knew that was too much but in my mind, I couldn’t help it, I really liked the taste.
Thankfully, I remembered back to my trip to Italy a few years ago, where we prepared for the long flight by getting rid of caffiene for a few days prior. I took a look back through my photographs from the trip and found the little golden packet of Hazelnut Teeccino.
I immediately went to Amazon to see what I could get quickly. Much to my delight, they had a variety pack and that purchase was a no brainer.
I’ve spent the majority of the year letting that variety pack lead me to this love affair I now have with these products. Hazelnut started it but from there, I’ve come to enjoy the French Roast, Dandilion Dark Roast, Maca Chocolate, Vanilla Nut AND their Fall seasonal blends are AMAZING.
These blends are the best of both worlds for me because they brew rich and savory, just like coffee but don’t have the acid or caffeine that coffee does, so I can enjoy them any time of the day and completely relish it (and I sure do).
All of the teas and herbal coffees that I have tried, to date, are full of flavor all on their own, but I’ll admit I indulge a little and add my favorite non-dairy sweet cream to most of mine. I prefer mine freshly brewed/steeped hot most of the time but have also found them a delicious base for my protien shakes and smoothies too!!!
My biggest and best discovery came along with my recently approved ambassdorship last month. As I have become more aware of how stress and anxiety affect my mind/body and life, I have been doing more research on natural ways to help ease both. Enter Teeccinos mushroom adaptogen line.
I’m two tea/coffees into my experience and I have to say they are even better than anything I have tasted before and I literally smile everytime I enjoy a cup because I know that I am drinking something good for me, on many levels.
Tremella Tulsi– this was the first one I tried and the flavor combination of the chicory, Tulsi and cardamon was invigorating, like coffee with a little kick!
“Tremella, the tropical mushroom reputed to promote lasting beauty, is paired with sacred Tulsi, also known as Holy Basil, the ‘Queen of Herbs’ for reducing stress in India’s Ayurvedic tradition. Blended with detox-stimulating dandelion root, experience bold, aromatic flavor with adaptogens protecting your mind & body!
Lion’s Mane Rhodoila– OHHHHHHHH MYYYYYYYYY! I really don’t know when it happened but I tried rose in my tea a long time ago and it’s one of my favorite flavor notes but I had never considered it in a coffee substitute. I am thrilled that I tried this blend second. This combination is smooth and so very soothing after a long day. The rose is strong enough to hit the nose with a delighful fragrance while lifting the cup up but not too overpowering when it hits the taste buds. I’ll be ordering more of this one for sure!
“Lion’s Mane, renowned in Asia as the nerve & brain protector, is paired with Rhodiola, Siberia’s mood enhancer that helps provide balance in times of need. Blended with prebiotic chicory, experience bold, aromatic flavor with adaptogens protecting your mind & body!
In case I don’t have you fully convinced to try it yet, let me also say that in addition to being caffeine free, these blends are gluten free and prebiotic.
If you are looking for a coffee alternative or perhaps a more robust tea, this is the best I’ve found.
Try some using the discount code OWLTeaParty
Until the next pot, happy sipping!!
~CC
BE with me
Hellooooooooo dear readers!
Here we are, at long last (blame me, not LR as she is several books ahead of me) at book three of the Bridgerton series (and my favorite so far)…
Book three starts with a Masqurade ball where the Bridgerton brothers, Colin and Benedict remain amongst the highly saught after of bachelors (though, as per usual, they aren’t overly thrilled about it).
Much to his own suprise, Benedict is quite taken with a mysterious and beautiful vision in silver, who’s identity is indeed a mystery to all in attendance, including Lady Whistledown.
Behind the mask, Sophie, is also taken with Benedict Bridgerton and the two of them share an intense few hours before the stroke of midnight has Ms. Beckett bolting for the door.
Sophie doesn’t belong in high society, or at least that is what she has been told most of her life, by her cruel Stepmother who treats her exactly like she does the rest of those under her employ, except, well, she doesn’t pay Sophie.Very much like Cinderella, Sophie is only able to attend the ball with the help of the other househld staff (they adore her), who make her unrecognizable and ensure she returns before she is found out.
Love finds Benedict and Sophie in those moments at the ball but it can never be…
Benedict doesn’t know the identity of the silver gowned maiden and Sophie knows that if he did know, he’d never have her.
The years that pass find them both still unattached and often thinking of that fateful night…until one afternoon in the countryside leads them back to eachother, with only one of them knowing that who they have been longing for, for so long, is right in front of them.
What follows is the often comical story of how Benedict and Sophie end up living in that fantasy from year prior…and it doesn’t come easily.
You know by now that I am not going to give you the whole story because it is so much better to get to know it for yourself but I will tell you that this couple has the best of dynamics when it comes to a story. I really appreciate the way Julia Quinn makes her characters work at love a little bit, without completely losing who they are.
As with the other two stories so far, there is banter and playfullness that developes between the characters that keeps it very, very interesting.
This is my favorite book, so far, because Benedict is my favorite Bridgerton brother. He is a bit of an artist, the second eldest, so not as many responsibilites as the Viscount, and he’d rather be at his house in the country then in town…sign me UP!!!
Happy Reading ALL!
See you in book 3
On Wanderwood Lane 