On Wanderwood Lane
The fictitious setting of a very REAL life.
Don’t Tell Me It’s Not Worth Fighting For
In regard to my two week holiday abroad, the question I have been asked the most is “What was your favorite part?”.
As you might be able to tell from my previous posts, there are many things that I could have given as the answer and I am still, so exceedingly, grateful for such an amazing time all around.
I do have an answer for that question though and I am ready to share it with you!
The journal entry from this particular day is titled…
Bravery and a magical forest!
It was my last full day in Nottingham, an overcast and moody one. Though it would have been easy to stay in, read a book, watch more British television or write a little more, my wanderlust was at an all-time high.
As you all know, I chose where I wanted to go and made my way to it, very little added planning went in, including looking at a map. For some reason I thought I’d be able to walk to EVERYTHING I wanted to see. Many steps were taken but in all of those steps, there was still more to see to complete the journey.
If you’ve guessed that part of the reason I chose Nottingham was the legend of Robin Hood, you would be correct. My brothers and I grew up on the Disney animation, Prince of Thieves and Men In Tights versions, even having a miniature play set of Sherwood Forest in our toy collection. That toy collection was for indoors, naturally, but we were constantly outside, where our backyard consisted of an acre of large, green pasture and an acre of woodland. It was the perfect setting for our imaginations to carry on that story amongst the trees.
In truth, it’s only been in the reflection of my favorite part of the trip and those childhood memories that I’ve found just how deep a touchstone was created on the day I traveled to the real Sherwood Forest.
Six days into my holiday found me well acclimated to several city blocks around Nottingham’s city center and I’d grown very comfortable with that. On Boxing Day the business of an average day is still very minimal and so I chose it as my day to walk down to Nottingham Castle and explore. I had that corner of the city to myself and though the castle (and caves below) were closed, I enjoyed taking in it’s story and the pieces of it that lay within it’s borders, including the Robin Hood Statue and Old Castle Pub.
That exploration was within my comfort zone.
Here is where the bravery comes in…
Sherwood Forest is around a 90min bus ride away from Nottingham city center. Not within walking distance, Candice, not by a long shot, LOL.
Thankfully, it’s very easy to figure out how to get from A-B in England. With a brief Google Map plug in, after the curiosity got the better of me, I discovered that there is a specific bus, especially for that trip. The only thing I had to do was walk a few blocks up to the station and get on it! I was a little nervous about the idea of getting there and back again but my heart wouldn’t let me NOT be brave about it.
I must have stood at the sliding door to the Sherwood Arrow for 20min before the driver looked up from his book, smiled, shook his head and pointed to the sign that said “out of order, go to the outside gate”. Sadly, that wasn’t the first time I’d embarrassed myself on holiday but I’m happy to report I’ve learned well how to laugh at things like that and I shared that laugh when I finally made my way round to pay the driver for the round trip.
Once all passengers boarded, I shared the bus with only 3 other people. I welcomed the extra space to fully exhale and settle in for the journey. My travels in Ireland prepared me well for just how quickly the countryside finds you once you hop a bus out of town and with each mile out, the rolling hills with charming towns replaced the hustle and bustle of city center.
My entire being is at home with this space and pace of things. I smile again at the pleasure of a choice well made 🙂
What visibility the rain hindered on the bus ride to Sherwood National Forest, it more than made up for with the lack of other tourists that were in attendance on the grounds that day. I didn’t quite have the place to myself but I never knew otherwise while hiking, in my solitude, along the wooded pathways.
From my first steps onto the grounds, I could feel magic and wonder in the air. There were old stories held within this forest and the fog caused by the days temperature/rain only aided in my imagination of them.
Trees are my absolute favorite creations of nature. I love how deeply and intricately they root, how they communicate with one another and how they forever reach heavenward. Being a big believer in The Force, helps too 😉 The giant, ancient and proud oak, birch and various others did not disappoint me in their majesty and I was awestruck.
The rain didn’t let up on my wanders and the photographer in me had to put her critical eye aside, more than once, to let the photos be what they are. I am not at all disappointed with the outcome because I know that I took my time with the important part in it all…absolute presence. Forests have a such a peaceful hum to them and my feet fell in rhythm with it. If there is anything a more tranquil sound than light rain hitting leaves, I’ve not heard it. I spent hours taking in every the site of every tree I could spot and listening to the sounds within the sounds.
Yes, this atmosphere could without a doubt inspire legend.
The Mighty Oak, is the main attraction of this area, and I let my anticipation build a bit before I found my way there.
And queue the main theme from Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves
There was bend in the path leading up to this magnificent tree and as I rounded it, the first notes of piano in Bryan Adams’ hit song “Everything I do, I do it for you” came into my mind. In that space it was easy to imagine a time, when in it’s younger years, that mighty oak could have stood around, unsupported and perhaps even been able to house a canopy hide out. I could picture a campsite under it’s branches and a group of worn journeyers finding rest within that safety.
I’m always quick to get lost in thought and though the rain was steady flowing down the front of my raincoat hood, I allowed myself a few more moments of daydreaming before I continued down the pathway back towards the visitors center.
Still to the same tune, I wondered what it would have been like to make the journey from Nottingham city to the forest, on horseback, to loose an arrow from a longbow, to create community within the majesty of those woods. The tiny trickle of children’s laughter as they ran passed me was a pleasant addition to those thoughts.
What a gift it is when an ordinary day shows you how extraordinary it can be and anytime that includes wandering, I’m in it for the long haul!
I LOVED my time in Sherwood Forest. It was, without a doubt, the most incredible, solitary, walk through the woods I have had up to this point in my life and though, perhaps a little dramatic for me to say, that’s love worth fighting for and I aim to always do just that ❤
Yellow is the Color of Her Energy
For days now, I have been thinking about a mug of tea. Not having a mug of tea but the specific visual of a specific mug in a specific setting.
I’d taken a photo of it, hadn’t I? I took several pictures of her home that day because it was lovely, warm and embracing, like her.
Her name is Amanda (Amanda R 💙🏕️ in my phone) and I had met her a year prior to that mug of tea, at Heart Camp.
Heart Camp…
My goodness does the title of that monumental (for me) gathering keep proving it’s rawness, it’s reality and it’s preciousness. I have it’s logo tattooed on my arm and I did it at a HEIGHTS of it kind of time, in Chicago, with other members of that family and felt no pain.
But it does hurt sometimes. It hurts in the things time and distance does to us. It hurts in the feeling like it was something that would happen every year and then feeling, for a while, like it might have ended all together. It hurts in how guilty I’ve felt, at times, for being so quiet for so long…
The hurt is the depths of it and I’ve grown to realize that you cannot have one without the other because that isn’t what Heart Camp is. And, though I have a touchstone forever on my heart actually named that, all life is it.
Heart Camp…
We went to visit Amanda at her home that reunion year because she had been recently diagnosed with cancer a few months prior to it and was undergoing a complete lifestyle rebuild to begin to fight it. We wanted to share space with her, hold her and let her know that she would not be alone in that fight. Standing in her back yard, hand in hand, is a feeling I’ll never forget.
It’s been 4 years since that time at her home. I saw her once more, in person, before the world shut down for a while, when she came to my home for a Reiki session. Most people don’t even know that I practice it because universally connected energy/healing, it seems, had to become ‘mainstream’ before it was given credence but Amanda believed in and trusted me and thus, trusted it and that made me confident. We had a deeply, powerful and beautiful time together.
She taught me in those moments, lessons that echo even more today.
First, who we are, exactly who we are is enough…our worth is our own, priceless and not conditioned to anyone else’s determination, it’s sacred.
Secondly, a deep love of self includes the loving of our bodies. The vessel is sacred, the house of our soul and should also be loved, no matter how difficult it might be moment to moment. Powerful!
I can’t go in to much more detail about how her journey has been the past few years because that is her journey/experience.
What I can say is this…a few days ago, Amanda left her vessel, which I believe she loved as best she could until that departure and though the news of that hit with the pang of sadness, the moment I leaned in to her energy, I felt her, stronger than ever, vibrating bright yellow and I know beyond anything else, that when I ask for the guidance of my helpers in my energetic healing practices, she will be among them ❤
We get to carry eachother into eternity!!
Thank you for the gift of you! I love you Amanda!!
Greetings of the Season
Christmas is an absolute favorite holiday of mine and I know I am not alone in that. No matter where you go during that time of the year, you are sure to find lights, decorations, an overall cheerfulness of people and a little extra magic in the air.
Over the past few years, the above mentioned feeling has only grown!!!
Believe it or not there was a time when I had grown quiet numb to the wonder, the magic and, honestly, dreaded the festiveness a little. It can become really easy to get lost in all of the “should, could, what if and why” of life and drift into an auto pilot of sorts.
My eagerness to celebrate Christmas in England found my spirits at an all time high and there are more than a few movies to blame for that (A Christmas Carol, Harry Potter, Love Actually, The Holiday, etc).
I couldn’t wait to land at Heathrow, see the row houses with lights in the window, visit decorated cathedrals and see/hear “Happy Christmas” as often as possible 🙂
What I found wasn’t exactly what I expected but as I am learning, expectations should be held very loosely so that they have the freedom to, hopefully, exceed all you think possible.
AND Ohhhhhhhhh, Nottingham! (I love and miss you).
Shout out to the wonderful ladies I met at White Rose 5 and Lush, where I made my first purchases of the trip. Thanks for making me feel so welcome in your city 🙂
I’d heard murmurs of a winter market being held just down the street from my accommodations before I left to explore, Day 1, so I knew that would be one of the first sights to see.
It took less than 10min to follow the tram rail down the hill a block and turn the corner to this…
It was overcast (gloomy) and the whimsy of a small, fair style event, back dropped by the incredible architecture of City Hall immediately drew me in. Although still very satisfied by the full English breakfast I started the day with, the aroma of all the freshly made food made my mouth water and I followed my nose. Sounds of laughter rang out from the small ice skating rink that welcomed guests at the entrance. Those sounds mingled well with each vendor’s musical melody and/or joyful chatter as it drifted along the market footpath. Lines of excited patrons could be found waiting for their turn to experience one of the rides, games or a savory/sweet treat.
After much more walking around, I helped myself to one of those treats myself! My friend Ben told me about one of his favorite meal options, halloumi, and so I opted for a portobello burger with fried halloumi and chips. It was incredible!
The smile that had already found permanence on my face widened with each step I took. THIS is why I was here and I soaked in every moment of it!
Ben, the friend I mentioned above, went to University in Nottingham and came into town the next morning for a chat and to offer his own take on the city. We had coffee and a long conversation at the dreamiest little shop with all the charming nooks and atmosphere I could have hoped for. After that, he showed me to and around Waterstones, a 5 floor bookstore. It was pouring rain by the time we exited the bookstore and that is when we parted ways but it was a Friday that I’ll never forget. Thanks BEN ❤
It being the holiday season may have played a small part in the fact that everyone I encountered was friendly, but I like to think that is just the way they are…lovely and kind…like all of greetings I became so fond of (love, my lovely, darling, my dear, duck). Hearing all of those affectionate terms was very special for a gal like me and the icing on that cake was sharing smiles with tons of families walking around in their Christmas jumpers.
My face is smiling wide once again as I think about those days in Notts!! They were truly, the best gift 🎁
A Milestone Birthday
Last Tuesday I wrote an instagram post for someone very special to me. She read it (in fact she reads just about all my words <3), loved it and asked me later that day how she could save it, as she does her cards, to look back at when she is feeling down.
Although I know she could save it under a tab on Insta, I thought I’d repost it here also, so that everytime she comes here to visit, she can read it again!
THIS post is dedicated to the most important woman in my life, my Momma, Geteia!
Today is her 60th birthday!!!
I swiped the first photo from the archives and have proceeded to fill the rest of the slides with selfies from my phones predetermined folder.
Although they probably only span the past decade, I think they showcase us pretty darn well.
She, always a pillar of love, strength and support with the most beautiful/warm smile I’ve ever seen and always the one holding me up, who in most of these, needed it very much.
I’ve learned more from her life/example than can fit here and we’ve learned a great deal more, together and never without a hand to hold!
I’m eternally grateful for the deep friendship that’s accompanied our mother/daughter relationship for 40years now and I love that she’s one of the truest gifts in my life.
I’m very blessed and honored to have her!!!
Thank you for always BEING exactly who you are, my entire life, and for holding my hand until I learned to do the same.
I LOVE YOU 3000 💗💫💗✨
Happy Birthday Momma!!!
All the Comforts of Home
As I may have mentioned previously, there wasn’t a lot of planning built in to this trip. I’d love to say it was due to the simplicity of being easy to please but the truth is, I just didn’t want to get it wrong.
This being my first solo trip, I was a little petrified to build an itinerary and I know in the past, that’s why I’d left it to the people who enjoy planning of them. Taking in all the sights, sounds and experiences possible seems like a great way to go about it. After all, you are likely in a place that you will not be in again, around things you might not see again, why not aim for the stars!?
I understand that thought process, I do and I again applaud the traveler that can do just that. The gift of all the traveling I have done has taught me that I am not, always, that kind of traveler, at least, not anymore.
What felt the most important for this trip were the very basics of knowing how I was getting there/back again and where I would lay my head down each night. I know several people who would (and probably did) cringe at my having no other ‘plans’ outside of that but those were the only things I initially cared about.
Within the getting to know myself, these past few years, in regards traveling and beyond, I have, indeed, gotten to know myself! Crazy right!? The largest reveals have been how my body feels when it’s heightened (excited, anxious, scared, curious, invigorated, utterly pissed off, etc.) and the reactions that come from those places. The last thing I wanted to do to myself, on my first solo trip, was to disregard the potential of any of those responses by the choosing of too many things to do/see ahead of time.
Building in as much safety as felt right for me and also nurturing my free flow were top of the tier and I have to say that, I’m proud of how it all turned out.
In Nottingham, I had the pleasure of staying at The Best Western Plus on Wollaton. It’s city center location made it ideal for being able get around by walking (my favorite thing), as well as having nearby bus and tram access, should I have needed it.
My room was small and simplistic with the bed, open faced wardrobe w/nooks, the desk/tv stand with drawers and table with chairs. That was all a very cozy kind of practical for me. Everything had it’s place and there was enough room to add a few Christmassy decorations for festive cheer.
Not to be left out of this description are the windows, which spanned, almost the entirety of the street facing wall of the room and had the most magical view of old world roof tops and clock dome of City Hall,
AND…the bathroom.
Yes, all bathrooms are essential but this one made me fall in love with the ritual of baths. I’m so grateful for my little hobbity apartment in the States but it was built in 1965…the tub is tiny and the water isn’t warm by the time it’s done filling. It seems a simple thing, I am sure, but being able to fill a tub with hot water and then get in said tub without it overflowing into the floor was sheer and utter delight (that I greatly miss).
I chose the full English breakfast as an addition to my accommodation and upon returning to my room (after being very well greeted and served by Mo, another fast friend), I felt calm, safe and ready to venture out into the city that awaited me.
My accommodations for the second week, I have to admit, I had a little help with the choosing of, from a friend that lives in the area (THANKS BEN 😉 ). I am exceedingly grateful for that assist as, amazingly enough, I walked off the bus from Nottingham to Derby, around the corner and at the end of that block, I arrived at the entrance to The Holiday Inn at Riverlights.
The smile and slight chuckle I enjoyed as I made my way to reception was due to the contrast of this city’s arrival and the one prior. It was a great relief to not be quite as disheveled this round.
The elevator dinged open on the top floor, where reception is located (that is until they undergo renovations later his year) and, once again, I was greeted warmly, the time, by the kind and beautiful smile of Billie who told me, after my returned greeting undoubtedly sounded as hurried as the mico machines commercial from my childhood, “I’ll tell you about and show you where to find everything, there is no more need to rush”. Maybe I WAS holding my breath a bit 🙂 She placed me in her favorite room and instinct told me that I could trust that.
Entering this room brought tears to my eyes. By this 7th day of travel, I had already had the most incredible of times, saw amazing things and met wonderful people. As the lights came on in my new room, the open curtain revealed another spectacular view and I read “Welcome, Candice” on the television menu screen, I knew I still had 7 more, magical days ahead.
Located, again, at city center, I was able to walk and explore a large majority of it by foot and, if I needed it, the bus stops and station itself were less than 5min from the hotel.
Noticing my pattern of eating dinner (tea) really early out or simply snacking while in Notts, I opted to treat myself this round and have the B,B &D stay. That’s the bed, breakfast and dinner package. It was the best of decisions and not only did the chefs outdo themselves each meal, I was able to interact with both shifts of the staff, which was a delight!
Pinging back to beginning of the post, as excited as I was about the new adventure of traveling on my own, I also knew there might be a chance that I’d feel a little lonely and/or miss home. As you can see, I didn’t have to worry about that at all.
The kind and brilliant staff at both locations treated me like a friend immediately. Every morning they made sure I’d had a good night’s sleep, had a warm and filling meal to start my day and that I knew which direction I would be heading for the day, also, how best to get there. In the evenings, I was always asked about my day and about my writing. You may say they were “just doing their job” but the level of comfort I received within each day made it all the more enjoyable for me and also ensured that slept soundly each night.
Words can’t really express my gratitude for the special role my accommodation choices, and wonderful people therein, played in my practically perfect holiday but I’ll endeavor to try, today and in the posts to come!
Much love and heartfelt thanks to you all ❤
Arrivals
Beginning my trip on the winter solstice may have been the most happy of accidents, to date. No, I didn’t schedule around it on purpose. I just wanted to be settled in my home from home before Christmas Day.
I chose a direct flight, overnight, via American Airlines and tucked myself in the very last seat on the plane. That, I found, is a very good place for me to be, if/when flying solo. The cabin lighting was a festive red/green to start and was timed with duration of the flight to simulate the night sky and then the rising sun. It was such a nice touch and given that my overall excitement kept me from sleeping, I got to witness it all as it happened. The turbulence was a bit more turbulent at the back of the plane (and I didn’t realize my seat would recline until the return flight) but it was WELL worth the trade off of being able to get up anytime I needed, to stretch, use the facilities and refresh my beverages 😉 . All of that, easily done, without disturbing those around me and rendered what was left of my inner anxious traveler, speechless.
Perfection 😀
My seatmate was quiet but friendly (could have been mistaken for Charlie Hunnam) and much to my delight became social enough on our approach to London to raise the window shade just in time to enjoy flying over the first sights of the city. Seeing all of the wonders I’d only ever seen on television brought the widest of smiles to my face (a feeling I now find commonplace) and thrills to my heart. Even though I knew I wouldn’t have many, if any, footfalls in London itself, seeing it from above was INCREDIBLE.
After landing, the trip through Heathrow Terminal 3 was surprisingly quick and the arrival gate, with all it’s excitedly welcoming faces, caught be by surprise. It was pretty darn close to the way The Prime Minister describes it in Love Actually. There were loads of flowers, signs, joy filled greetings and love was tangibly in the air! A tone for my trip had already been set and I couldn’t have been happier.
Booking a bus to Nottingham was my next task and that also went very smoothly. I had a break of a few hours to walk around a while, stretch and hydrate. My first purchases were made and they included a Cherry Pepsi Max (ok, not hydrating but the H2O was eventually had, I promise) and a protein bar. It was the perfect amount of fuel for the journey ahead.
A National Express bus was the mode of transportation to Nottingham and I found it so relaxing to, once again, store my heavy rolling bag under the bus and make my way to it’s back corner, another great choice for me, personally. It was right at a 3 hour journey, given all the stops we made and I am 💯 certain my mouth was agape in awe at the English countryside/smaller town sites/sounds the entire time.
Ricky, a fellow passenger from the Linton to Milton Keyes stops, regaled me with many stories spanning his 10 year residency in Holland which included educating me in the vastness of the marijuana trade. Needless to say, that stretch of travel, I was focused on the conversation and completely missed the view but was no less entertained.
The sun had set by the time I was dropped off at the Nottingham NE bus station and I was on my own to find my way to the room I had booked at the Best Western Plus on Wollaton. Though I could make that walk a thousand times now, that night, it took longer than I would have liked. The added weight of my luggage didn’t make it any the easier BUT after about 30min, I arrived, red faced and no doubt disheveled to the most hospitable of greetings by Anais and Paul, who quickly became a few of my favorite faces (more on them later).
After a brief (and comical) introduction to my room, 506, and a complete unpacking later, I was very ready to settle in to an early night’s sleep. Yes, completely unpacking, no matter how brief my stay might be, is just the way that I prefer things. After a prayer of gratitude and giant inhale/exhale, good rest found me.
The pace of my entire trip was set this on this, Day 1, and following the unhurried course of it led to the almost constant, Cheshire Cat like, grin my face held each day and much peace/joy in my heart.
I can’t wait to share more with you all, very soon ❤
Sequels
It’s become a routine, on the morning’s that I work from home, to put a digital fire on the tv, sit on my couch perch and journal for about an hour or so. Even though it’s been less than a month since I added it, I’ve really grown to consider that time sacred.
Most days there is no prompt, I just write whatever comes to mind, you know, the 6 or so pages of it 😂
However, I woke up to a really good one via the text of a dear friend this morning and so, here we are.
“Only 12 days until you leave on your adventure!”
It’s incredible to me that you can spend SO MUCH time thinking about something and then, in the blink of an eye, it’s upon you. What felt like a far off dream is down to the double checking of the practical things like what/how to pack and any last minute booking changes.
The “dreaming of” is my wheelhouse and building them is no problem at all to me. The fruition part, especially when it comes to taking trips, is a bit out of my comfort zone as there is normally a part of my company that like to do those kinds of things and made it really easy for me (a massive thank you to those people from trips prior).
For this particular adventure though, I’ve had to grow more comfortable with planning, booking, packing and logistics, because, I am going on Holiday!!! Not just any holiday, THE HOLIDAY!!!!
The Holiday, the movie, came out in 2006 and ever since then I have wanted to have a similar experience around the holidays. I don’t necessarily mean an all out rom/com, in fact, back then I can promise you that I was very cynical about them but I just adored the overall idea of choosing to be somewhere completely different than what you are use to around a time that has probably been spent around much the same surroundings.
Iris is a character I immediately found myself in and you could say that it’s added to the comedic effect that, in many ways, I still do. As single journalist who covers wedding announcements (and helps an ex edit his book when she’s probably got her own she could be writing), she escapes the hamster wheel of unrequited love and the desire to be chosen to get lost in the unknown. It doesn’t take her long, at all, to let herself completely go and be open to what her escape has to teach her.
The home exchange she utilizes for the trip has her in the hills of LA from Surrey, England and right next door, by those same LA standards, to a charming, elderly, old Hollywood neighbor (my favorite character), Arthur, who quickly becomes her dear friend and the one who tells her that it’s time for her to be “leading lady in her own life”.
I’ve sobbed at that part of the movie more times than I can count because I know that for most of my adulthood, I haven’t really known how to do that in my own life. That might even sound strange to those that have known me for a while and “seen me living life” but it’s true. I’ve always, very much felt like a really great supporting actress.
Haha, ok, anyway!!!! Iris found her gumption and her “leading lady” way in just a couple of weeks (because it’s a movie) and the entire point of this post is that I am learning to also (took much, much longer).
In 12 days, I land in England for a two week Holiday! My Christmas and New Year will be spent on a completely different continent and I’m so excited!!
***I suppose I need to briefly mention Amanda here because, in the movie, she’s the one that actually goes to England but outside of potentially driving very horribly in the snow, in a new country, dancing around the entire cottage to really loud music and opening the door late at night for Graham (Jude Law), I don’t have much in common with her (especially that LA life). Hey Graham, I am a weeper too 😉
Give me the wide openness of green (possibly snow covered), rolling hills, small(ish) villages with old world architecture, train rides to places known for their pastries, Christmas markets and acres of newness to wander. Much like my first (and second trip) to Ireland, very little big city time will be had.
From it’s inception to just this morning, I have had to let the idea build, tear down, release and rebuild several times along the way…LETTING GO of what/how I think it should go so that it can happen how it needs to, because that is where the magic is!!!
And, after all, I can’t have any “meet cutes” if I don’t let it have any free flow!
What am I hoping for? Feelings friends, loads and loads of feelings! I want my face to hurt from all the smiles brought and to be able to wipe many a tear from my eyes through the constant awakening that is being fully present…and if I happen upon my very own Arthur Abbott-esque kind of new friend(s) that would be lovely!!
The Holiday 2 is happening!! Stay tuned ☺️
Easy Like Sunday Morning
It’s early, not unusually early, but early and my little houseguest (my nephew J), although he claims to have just woken up when I did, is already, practically bursting with anticipatory energy.
I’m no stranger to this time of morning but my pace/energy are much different. Our visits have become this, truthfully kind of amazing, dance of mutual compromises lately, as I try to live out all of the lessons of my personal growth journey, but I am getting a little of topic.
This morning’s compromise was turning on Battlefront before coffee so that I could make the coffee and start a round of laundry before even being asked if he could play. From the kitchen I could hear the firing of laser rifles and the propulsion of a jet pack, so I knew his first character choice of the day was Boba Fett.
Just as I was pouring my first cup of coffee, he came round the corner to ask me what I was doing and to tell me about his first victory. Between the Hoth cave in/outs and enemy ambushes, all to which I smiled and nodded, he ended the the tale with this gem “sometimes you have to make the move you think is the riskiest, to win”.
At this point he chuckled and ran back in to the living room to then, no doubt or surprise to me, terrorize some rebels as his favorite villain, Palpatine, and left me to stand, a little dumbfounded by the coffee pot.
I am so use to my “quiet” mornings but if I can be really honest, they aren’t all that quiet. Environmentally, yes, and the pace is slow but my mind, most morning/days is the opposite. What a point of massive gratitude that this morning, the simple but profound wisdom of a small voice, pierced the very heart of the matter.
I all too often associate risk with intense/serious situations but here, lately, everything has been spurring me forward, the years of self work/growth/healing have led, over and over again to more peace, calm and understanding.
Just when I get to that rhythm, however, I notice that I start to feel the vastness of that wide, open, path…and I start to panic a little, begin to look around frantically, even sometimes digging, for the next “thing”.
My “invitation” as I’ve started calling it, the past few weeks has been to “stay the course”…don’t run, don’t withdrawal, don’t push away, don’t hide…don’t self abandon…don’t create a false narrative by being in constant thought…just stay the course.
So here I am at the, albeit unintentional, challenge of my young nephew.
What if the risk, for me, in this particular season, is to stop the excavation process of my life for a while, especially when I’m being presented with a wide open landscape and let things just happen, to stop anticipating what’s around the bend and even better, prematurely trying to protect myself from it…because…maybe, just maybe, I don’t need to.
Maybe a win (or more) awaits me and maybe all the goodness I hope and wish for everyone else is something I can start believing in for myself (and not just talk about believing in).
Here’s hoping!
Happy Sunday!
What Can You See, On The Horizon
Good Morning my friends!
If this is your first time here, WELCOME and thank for being here, today!!!
To my return visitors, I give a gigantic gratitude hug and for those who happen to know me personally, I take my hugs very seriously! I hope you feel it, even in the smallest of ways, this very moment.
I happen to be fresh off a three day writing conference #hwconference2022 (much more on that soon!) and while it could be very, very easy to put this exchange off as a ride of the that high, if you have been around for any length of time, at all, you know I wouldn’t have popped in today, if there wasn’t a deeper take away.
***And, also, I don’t intend to merely ride this new wave, I intend to WRITE IT!!
There’s so much I could say about my writing journey and it will all, likely find it’s way here as we go along but this morning I got the download that’s meant for this conversation.
It’s not something that’s come up a lot here or on the socials but I’ve been a Licensed Massage and Bodywork Therapist (LMBT) for 11 years and have had the privilege of building/running my own practice for that entire length of time. When I started out, though I believed very passionately in the work I would do, I was a bundle of insecurity and nerves. It took several years to get to a point to where it would be what the industry would call successful but once I got there, I stayed there for many more years and saw as many people as I possibly could.
Around year 8, I was very confident in my craft, my skills and ability to help my clientele. At that point I had also begun to explore my second modality of healing arts (Reiki) and noticed a similar pattern of starting with insecurity/nerves and have also noticed that continuing to practice it makes me more confident/secure and “better” at it and that, makes it all the more magical.
I tell you all of that because sometime around May of 2021, I hit a breaking point. In all of the truth of the knowledge of the good I was doing, of the financial stability/success a lucrative practice created and all of the healing I helped facilitate, the loudest truth was that I was suffocating, and it took months to figure out how to breathe again and, in that truth, I am still learning.
In August of 2021 I took a massive step back from those practices, accepted an unrelated part time position at place that I’ve never really left and decided that it was time to work on my writing…but did I really do that?
What I’ve realized this morning is that in regard to writing, I have never practiced it enough to get out of that space of insecurity and nerves BUT in the reflection of the rest of my life thus far, I know that I CAN do it!
My healing practices still exist in a very small but sacred space and as a practitioner, knowing that is what I needed at this point in my career, saved it, saved me and brought all the magic back into it.
Now, here, today, I am ready to see that kind of sacredness and magic grow from the sharing of the words on my heart. The beauty of it is (encouraged by one of the keynotes of the conference) that it might look like a blog post here (or on my other space WeGeekGirls), an Instagram post, a Tweet, a novel, an entire series, a screen play, a comic or a handwritten letter BUT it will, never, be nothing.
For the masses, for you or just for me, I will get them out into the world.
Let’s flow ❤
I guess it’s just the Hobbit in me
Thinking back on today’s prompt has made me smile very widely 🙂
Memories of myself as a little girl, running out of the house barefoot and onto whatever terrain awaited me, are the reason for that smile. The feeling of each surface is still fresh sensory.
Most of my young life, I lived right beside my grandparents, on street filled with great aunts/uncles and second cousins. The warmth of the foot stones that led from my back door to the basement next door often determined how quickly I made that journey and my feet were made tender by the heat more than once. I’d cross the gravel drive that broke up the acres of front yard with the same delicacy.
I absolutely loved the way the grass felt under my feet (still do) and I would regularly take off running through it until my breath caught in my chest. Often, I’d hit a patch of prickly weed that would slow me for a bit but once the sting was gone, it was forgotten. The same is true for the handful of times that sting I felt was from the bee I’d accidentally crushed beneath those running feet.
Shoes, I had them, of course, but I wouldn’t be bothered to slip them on most of the time. I couldn’t have known, as a child, how healthy (and sacred) that practice was and I look back with massive gratitude that I gave those tootsies the freedom I did.
It was more than the freedom and frivolity I was enjoying, it was the connection to life that I was feeling, though I know it takes many an adult mile to fully realize that. I enter that field a bit more mindfully these days, as the bottoms of my feet are far too use to the encasement of shoes to take off running on a whim, but I do, still try to connect to the energy that pulses through every, living, thing. It’s a newer concept called ‘grounding’ these days but I like the think that somehow, tiny Candice, could tell that there was something special about it all, way back then.
Looking back at everything I typed, my title has bit more weight to it than just running around without the need for shoes and my deep kinship with what has become my favorite fictional race, has deep roots and that, again, makes me smile really widely 🙂 🙂 🙂
There and back again,
~CC
On Wanderwood Lane 