On Wanderwood Lane
The fictitious setting of a very REAL life.
I’m Back in December
There were a couple of reasons for my excitement to participate in the December Writer Friends Challange (@writer.friends.challenge). The first is that I figured the last month of the year was sure to produce enough inspiration to complete most of the prompts and secondly, I have yet to complete every prompt on the list in a month. While it’s meant to be a fun way to keep oneself writing/posting and nothing is technically required, I know that I need the practice the challenge offers!
With Christmas approaching, the busyness of both jobs, studying to become an Aromatherapist and writing my first novel, I’ve chosen a really chaotic time in life to put too much pressure on myself…and I may have some fatigue along the way but, again, I need the practice.
Today is the 8th of December and it’s time for the 8th prompt. I took to my Instagram (OnWanderWoodLane) for prompts 1-3 and will return later today for 8.
Wait, that skips 4-7!!!! Nooooooooooooooooo! Not happening!!
That is exactly why I am on the blog today! The max word count on other platforms are no match for where my mind/heart go whilst reading these lists sometimes, so I have come to the place where I can write away!!
In the following paragraphs, I’ll be breaking down prompts 4-7 as I continue to vulnerably share my writer’s journey with you all and hopefully to make new friends along the way!
Let’s get started!
4. What’s on your writing Wishlist?
As literal as my answers could be here, I mean I’ll never turn down new pens, notebooks, journals or books to add to my TBR pile, I have to be really transparent here and say that my biggest wish is for subscribers.
A few days ago, I got the notification that this blog had reached 5,000 views. That was really incredible to me! Putting my words out into the word is both the most satisfying and the most terrifying writerly thing I do. Notifications feel very good when they are coming in but ughhhhhh does the void of waiting have the opposite effect.
It’s easy for me to post and let it get lost in space but knowing that the only way to eventually be a successful author is to welcome in/grow an audience is intimidating and oftentimes leaves me with less content created.
I mentioned earlier in the week my desire to spend less time waiting and more time creating. That is a promise I plan on keeping to myself so here is where the wish comes in. Social media algorithms make it really difficult to ensure that you, the reader, are in control of what you consume, unless of course you spend hours liking/viewing/sharing that content.
Thankfully, I DO have some really loyal friends/readers that keep their eyes open for new posts but otherwise there are no guarantees that each post will get the same traction. As I continue to open up about the series I am writing and what I am hoping to accomplish as an author, I need to KNOW that there’s an audience waiting and wanting to hear about it.
Almost everything out there asks you to “subscribe” these days and I sincerely don’t want to be just another “thumbs up” or “click here” BUT if you want to know exactly when one of my posts goes live, subscribing to this blog is the only way you get a notification for it, right in the convenience of your inbox.
In addition to this wish is the added wish of truly getting to know you all and interacting with you more often as all of this takes shape. Along the way, I hope to be in this space more than on social media and creating content you can only get by being here with me.
If you are already apart of my readership, I thank you for supporting me!
If you subscribe after reading this, thank you for making my wish come true!!
And if you are undecided where you want to go from here, I am glad that you stopped by today ā¤
5. 1 Thing you are taking into the New Year and 1 thing you are leaving behind?
Whew! This one gave me absolute chills!! If you’ve been here (or Insta) for any length of time, you know that self-care has become paramount within the last 5 years. I’ve still got a long way to go on that front but in those 5 years, I have learned about as much about myself (my brain) as I possibly could and here is what I found the most helpful.
Presence is everything and if you let it be, it is generous.
Operating out of the past often creates more of the past and in my experience, it was the unpleasant parts of it…the insecure/overly stressed/sensitive bandwidth parts. Not exactly fun. And when I take that state in to a future thought, I place all of that weight on things that haven’t happened yet. Again, not fun.
I find I have less expectation in presence. I am more in a state of curiosity and anticipation. That IS fun!
Presence leaves room for us to offer grace, awareness and understanding. I am betting that if I feel I need it, then the rest of the world does also.
Presence is what I am taking into the New Year!!!!
It wasn’t my intention to choose another “P” word for the other part of this prompt but here I am with, perfectionism. When I look around my world, I don’t see that word (I see imperfect) but when I think about the places I get the most frustrated/stuck, it comes from almost constant comparison. What is particularly sad about that constant comparison is that it almost always as an unknowing or even fictious competitor.
For that reason, I am embracing however messy the journey is along the way and leaving perfectionism behind!
6. Favorite Holiday Traditions
Fellowship with my family and friends will forever be at the top of most of my lists because connection is my life song. I just love sharing/talking/bonding with the people that mean the most to me and I likely always will š
Christmas lights are very high on the list also! In fact I keep a strand of white tree lights in my living room year round as carry over of the wonder and whimsy I feel when I see them.
I can remember many trips to spectacular light displays in the neighboring counties growing up and it always filling me with joy. That’s a favorite feeling!
I’ve been an Aunt for almost 14 years now, so that joy is only added upon when I get to experience those lights with the kiddos now. I recently went with the boys and even this year, as one is in his teens, it’s difficult to tell who gets more excited about them! I really love it!
Another Auntie related holiday tradition is watching a couple of those kiddos perform on stage! My niece and nephew have been in children’s theatre since they were 6 and every December they are in a production. It’s become a highlight of Aunthood to watch them not only grow in life but also on stage. I use to tear up at how bravely they committed to their characters and castmates. Now I tear up at how confidently they commit to their characters, their castmates and the story.
This Aunt life is a year-round thing but I do love how it gets just a little sweeter at Christmastime!
7. What sneaks into your stories?
This one is a tough one because I really try to add to my stories with intention, even more so now that I have vowed to be more present. I will fully admit that there have been times where I have used a quote I like, a song or an influencer reel to express a passive aggressive message along before I took the time to be rational about it…I never tag who it’s meant for, of course, BUT I have done that more than I care to admit.
Seeeeeeeee, in no way perfect š
Alrighty then! I think that’s a wrap for now!
Again, thank you so much for being here and I’ll see you again soon!
Return to Innocence
As soon as I started thinking about this post, it had an accompanying track that played in my head throughout it’s forming into words.
The road I grew up on, Thompson Rd, was out in the country and contained a lot of extended family. A few of our cousins lived at the end of the road and were our first friends. It was, very thankfully for me, an age where there wasn’t so much technology to be tethered to and we spent lots of time walking in the fields/woods between our houses.
Karen, the one I’ve always been closest to, and I bonded over so many things in those formative years. We turned fallen trees into castles, the barn loft into a court room, old metal scraps into more friends, tissue paper into skin grafts for the dolls that needed plastic surgery and ruled a mermaid empire every time we swam in the pool.
The free flow of play came easily to us, as did the laughter and with all the ‘heal your inner child’ talk that is trending now, I have to wonder if calling upon those effortless memories is part of it…
A few weeks ago, after a loooooooooooong and very draining few years of attempting to get my workout/physical care routine back on track, I surrendered to the TRUTH that although I’ve spent a great deal of the past decade moving toward whole self healing, my physical body was still so conditioned to be in protection mode, that very few of the efforts I have made are adding up to anything lasting. Burnout was at an all time high, which is always tough for me to admit because I have a really great life, I do!
How am I honoring that great life if I am not communicating to my body that it’s safe to thrive and actually enjoy it though?
Somatic exercises were brought to my attention via a friend a few years ago, who knowing my mind/body background asked if I knew anything about them. I didn’t and was admittedly too overwhelmed at the thought of learning something new to look into it a the time…and yet, with my teary eyed head in my hands, Iāve never forgotten that they asked me about it.
I didn’t spend a lot of time searching for a place to explore this. With a quick key word search, I was led to an Instagram account that I followed for a while, to make sure the message was consistent and then, purchased their 30day program.
In the days that followed that choice, I had to get very honest with myself about the amount of money I have spent/do spend in the pursuit of this form of wellness and SEE where the money is being wasted as I know there is deep correlation in it. Subscriptions were canceled, accounts un-followed and apps deleted.
My first real exhale in months came on Day 1 of the program with the permission to do nothing strenuous or ambitious during the duration of the course. It was made clear that we would be navigating neuroplasty and creating new messages (neural pathways) in my brain and DID NOT need to mix the messages. Knowing just how long I’ve been mixing the messages, surrender to that instruction was easy.
I am almost two weeks into the course and have been keeping notes about what each session reveals to me (to be shared at another time). What I will share at this moment though, is that I’ve been, without a doubt, holding on way too tightly for way too long. This message of ‘letting go’ that I have been receiving these past few years is meant within my physical body also and I am, thankfully, finally on that journey.
Within that same time frame, I purchased a camera. No, I didn’t need it, I have about 6 cameras. This one though, has taken everything back to the basics of what a camera was like when I was a kid. I didn’t have access to anything fancy. The cameras I used were disposable, point & shoots and when the camera was full, I dropped it off at the store for development.
My favorite thing about those, looking back, was how impossible it was to overthink what you were photographing because you couldn’t see/critique it. You captured memories. I captured memories. It was plain and simple, almost effortless.
The advertising appeal of the CampSnap I purchased is that it takes ‘vintage photos’ and I had to laugh out loud at that. We had to go so far as to have cameras on our phones (with three lenses) just to go all the way back to the simplicity of capturing a memory. Yes, yes I had to have one š
It is digital, so there won’t be any need to take it to the store to print out anything. I can look at the photos when I plug the camera up but I haven’t done that yet. I am being selective about what I take and reminding myself that I have an eye for capturing memories.
In both of the above mentioned invitations (and many I didn’t share), what I know will create that deep healing and lasting state of being, is a return to myself.
So, in this moment, I am teenage Candice, running up the stairs of Karen’s house, to the end of the hallway where her room is and am greeted by a warm embrace and sounds of a familiar tune playing…
Love
Devotion
Feeling
EmotionDon’t be afraid to be weak
Don’t be too proud to be strong
Just look into your heart my friend
That will be the return to yourself
The return to innocenceThe return to innocence
And if you want, then start to laugh
If you must, then start to cry
Be yourself don’t hide
Just believe in destinyDon’t care what people say
Just follow your own way
Don’t give up and use the chance
To return to innocenceThat’s not the beginning of the end
That’s the return to yourself
The return to innocenceThat’s return to innocence
It’s Return to Innocence by Enigma in case anyone needed a hint š
Many happy returns,
Candice š©·
By the Light of a Peacock Lamp
When I was curating this space, over 5 years ago, the idea I had in mind was to create my own virtual version of a hobbit house.
I wanted the reader to be able to imagine a cozy space containing many rooms, nestled someplace beautiful with rolling hills visible from the rounded windows. Within those rooms, I wanted all the comforts of home to be found.
Hearthside, as the name implies, is meant to be a gathering place, warm and welcoming. A space of safety, vulnerability and heartfelt/thoughtful conversation.
Sharing about my recent (and much too brief) visit to Chinaberry Farm is perfectly suited for this space!
My cousin got married a few weeks ago (Congratulations Katie & Sean!) and although I wasnāt coming in from all that far away, I had some additional family that was, so, my Auntie/Uncle graciously rented a charming listing near their house to ensure no one had to rush off back home after the ceremony.
When I got the call that informed me of the rental, I was told āOh Candice, you are going to love it!ā. Personally, I was so moved by the gesture I wouldnāt have been too picky about my accommodations but that exclamation landed right on my heart because it is very much like my Auntie to go the extra mile to make people feel special.
Chinaberry Farm was described to me on that same phone call and as excited as I was to see more, I didnāt look it up before loading up my car. You see, I really enjoy being awestruck! I wanted to save as much of that feeling, as I could, for my arrival.
It was only about an hour drive from me but the winding roads that took me off the interstate, made it pleasantly feel like I was deep in the countryside, very appropriate considering that I pulled up to a big red barn (pictured above).
My face positively cracked wide with smile at the sight of it. I took a deep breath and long exhale. Before I ever opened the door, peace radiated from the property, along with a much needed calm. It was only an overnight visit but I could tell it wouldn’t feel that way at all.
After taking a few photos of the exterior, I made my way inside and, well, what a sight it was to behold!
I immediately looked up to take in the exposed beams of the barn as it’s boarded floor creaked under my feet, only a small part of the charm. Hundreds of antiques lined the floor/wall space. There was SO MUCH to see, yet it all felt like it had a place.
This old barn has been converted into three bedrooms, two of which look to me like house facades from the outside looking in. Each of those have a large bed and full bathroom. The third room, downstairs, has two sets of bunk beds and a bathroom!
This brilliant design allows for the accommodation of either a large group or all the room doors lock allowing for privacy if only one room is required. I personally love the later option as I’ve already been daydreaming about a solo writer retreat weekend!
I was making my way through the self guided tour when my cousins arrived!
After several long and teary eyed hugs, we finished acclimating ourselves to our lodgings, together.
In addition to the third bedroom, the common area dining room can also be found downstairs.
We were truly amazed at the creative way all of the pieces were placed in/around the more modern amenities needed, such as the coffee/tea brewers š
As if we weren’t already in love, just out the back door of the lower level of the barn, we found the unexpected surprise of a horse, a donkey and a feeding barrel turned to a pool!!
My heart went from happy to elated by culmination of all of the sights and sounds and I was very ready to spend some time in my surroundings.
(I surprised no one with my choice to stay in The Library Room ;))
It’s my hope that by posting images along with the text that you are able to get a ‘feel’ for the environment and begin to understand how greatly it added in the priming of our heart space for the fellowship that awaited us.
After returning ‘home’ from the wedding celebration (which was spectacular itself), my cousins and I got into our pjs, plated the snacks and popped the top on a few beers.
Choosing a place to set up was quite the task, simply because there are so many areas designed for gathering. Dozens of antique chairs, love seats, couches and lounges fill the barn and are thoughtfully arranged like I’d imagine a ‘sitting room’ of old to be. Ultimately we chose a long table to the right of the staircase leading downstairs, with church pews as it’s benched seating and topped with a set of peacock lamps whose pastel shades cast us in blue hazed light.
The cousins I’ve mentioned, Nita & Jesi, are on my mother’s side of the family whose linage contained the sweetest/dearest of souls, my great-grandmother (Martha). She was a true matriarch who made certain that the entire family gathered regularly and that when we did, the environment was filled with the purest love, joy and hospitality. With the ever revolving smells of delicious food in the air, our time together was filled to the brim with hugs, play, laughter, conversation and full bellies. She wiped our tears away too.
At Momaw M’s we could let our guard down and find rest. As much as she is missed in the physical plane, we know her spirit and essence lives on in the ones who got to love her. The kind of love she embodied recognizes itself in another and I am so grateful I am connected to many of her kindred.
When Nita & Jesi arrived to the barn, the time spent apart vanished at the site of them. We entered one another’s embrace with all of the love and enthusiasm of the compounded decades before and when we sat down under the peacock lights, “Momaw energy” flowed abundantly. The three of us carried on in that bliss of fellowship until the early hours of the morning.
Falling asleep and waking the next morning with the same full heart is a feeling I won’t soon forget and the setting of our little reunion made it all the more extraordinary.
Momaw M would have been in awe of the Chinaberry Farm barn and although my aunt Terry may not realize it, I am sure that it was her connection to Momaw that led her to that listing and each time we return to it (which I know we will), we find rest together surrounded by walls that were no doubt designed to help people find just that ā¤
Another Day in Paradise
Several years ago, my Aunt, knowing my affinity for both the UK and a great television series, sent a text over to me that readā¦
āYou HAVE TO watch The Five, on Netflix! You will love it!ā
She knows me very well, so, there was no reason to think twice about viewing it and when I did, I made very short work of itās 10 episode run.
Her prediction that I would love it was accurate, in fact, I couldnāt get enough. I loved the compelling characters, the story, the pacing and, in this case, the English setting.
Unfamiliar with his work at the time, I saw the āHarlan Cobenāsā¦ā at the front to the title and proceeded to watch anything else that was available to watch.
SAFE
The Stranger
Stay Close
Gone for Good
Hold Tight
With each viewing deepening my enjoyment and appreciation for Harlanās writing style, I knew that it was time for me to find the written words.
In 2022, just before a beach vacation, I found The Woods at a local independent book shop.
I read it in about a day and a half, only stopping to sleep, eat and have an occasional chat with my Mom/Dad about how much fun it was to read.
Thrillers are very much my genre of choice for reading, so much so that my first novel, perhaps series, will be one.
There is something about the mixture of suspense and a fast pace that is a bit addicting to me. I like to feverishly turn pages and feel a sly smile form on my face when something clever happens, hear my audible chuckle when a moment of levity breaks the tension and challenge my own levels of deduction.
The way HC writes is the perfect satiation for my appetite for the genre. His settings are immersible yet able to meet the reader wherever they may be (as in written in suburban America but easily translatable to England, France or wherever else it may be adapted to for TV) and his characters are interesting. I get introduced to them, their story begins to unfold and then I HAVE TO know what happens. Itās as simple as that!
For the past two years, my beach vacation reads have started with a Harlan Coben title.
A beach read, for some, might be a romance, a memoir or something else lighter and breezy, like the surroundings.
For me, however, no matter where I am and no matter how many different directions my creative mind can take me, something always goes ābump in the nightā, leaving a deeper set of questions to be answered.
Many a morning, whilst people watching from the balcony, I have made a writing prompt out of the early morning beach walkers, typically telling one sentence of what their story might be. There is always more that comes to mind though, especially by the end of a day and that process is what ultimately let me know that I HAVE TO become an author.
The road here has been long and even my faithful friends have grown tired of the joke āI could write a book aboutā¦ā and have insisted that I actually write a damn book!! Yeah, having a ready made support system has never been the issueā¦I have, lol!
Thankfully, several books about the craft of writing, from well established authors themselves have served to show me that āthe voices of doubtā never leave, no matter how successful one becomes.
I am in exceptional company!
And, at this point, I can either live in misery with all the stories in my head, doubting them at every turn OR I can do the work of writing them down, setting us all freeā¦because either way, they arenāt going away on their own š
I am exceedingly blessed to have loads of people that support me in this endeavor of becoming an author and I have found an added bonus in discovering that the authors I enjoy reading, also, indirectly, support that endeavor.
Authors LOVE to/need to read, so, why wouldnāt they want to see more new content in the world!?
Reading Harlan Coben books has greatly added to my desire to see this whole thing through. From the moment I read the first page of the first book, I felt like he was sitting in front of me, telling me a storyā¦not a superfluous, masked filled taleā¦an authentic story, even down to the way he brings modern music into it, especially the way he brings music into it!
This past month has been filled with the most amazing synchronicity when it comes to all of the things I mentioned above.
BBC Maestro unveiled new writing courses from well established authors and HC is one of them. His advertisement says āwhatās my goal for this course? Itās to completely change your life!ā. I believe that he means that so much, Iāve become a student!
I am currently 4 lessons in and I know that Iāve made the right choice in starting with his course. Weāve have many differences, I am sure, but we are kindred in what inspires us heās already made me feel like my process doesnāt need a restructure, I just need to get busy doing the work! Haha, that pill is getting a little easier to swallow!
Last Thursday, I had the absolute pleasure of meeting the man himself at a stop on his Think Twice book tour. Though I am not yet familiar with the series he wrote this book for, I wasnāt going to give up the opportunity to catch him while he was in my state.
Dear Readers, I have to tell you that Harlan exceeded every expectation I had of him and I am so pleased to be able to tell you that. In a world where ego could have taken over, HC, was as down to earth as a New York Times Best Selling author could be and FULLY connected with the audience, which we all appreciated.
It was extra special having already started my courses with him, as a lot of the things he shared about his process where things I was already privy to and I just sat back and smiled š
I wasnāt šÆ sure there would be a meet & greet after the event and I really was honestly content with the third row fan vantage point BUT he graciously did do oneā¦ANDā¦my heart was overjoyed!!!
There isnāt an ounce of poise in me when it comes to sharing my heart. I often present a face cracking smile, accompanied by my hand over the heart chakra and tear filled eyes. Harlan held space for that and in all of the unhurried atmosphere, I was able to tell him how much I appreciated him without taking up too much time!
It was extraordinary!
The entire evening as a whole was an aspiring authorās dream! From the intimate (but packed) theatre, the noted appreciation from the audience, a poster sized book cover and again, an intimate meet/greet line, it gave me so much to look forward to.
The best part was knowing that itās Harlan Cobenās 36th book and he was just as excited about the process as I am sure he was the first one!
Now, I really have to believe that the best time for me to arrive at āauthorā are in these moments, when being fully present is all there really is because I donāt want to miss a thing!
Thank you all for being a part of this ā¤
Don’t Tell Me It’s Not Worth Fighting For
In regard to my two week holiday abroad, the question I have been asked the most is “What was your favorite part?”.
As you might be able to tell from my previous posts, there are many things that I could have given as the answer and I am still, so exceedingly, grateful for such an amazing time all around.
I do have an answer for that question though and I am ready to share it with you!
The journal entry from this particular day is titledā¦
Bravery and a magical forest!
It was my last full day in Nottingham, an overcast and moody one. Though it would have been easy to stay in, read a book, watch more British television or write a little more, my wanderlust was at an all-time high.
As you all know, I chose where I wanted to go and made my way to it, very little added planning went in, including looking at a map. For some reason I thought I’d be able to walk to EVERYTHING I wanted to see. Many steps were taken but in all of those steps, there was still more to see to complete the journey.
If you’ve guessed that part of the reason I chose Nottingham was the legend of Robin Hood, you would be correct. My brothers and I grew up on the Disney animation, Prince of Thieves and Men In Tights versions, even having a miniature play set of Sherwood Forest in our toy collection. That toy collection was for indoors, naturally, but we were constantly outside, where our backyard consisted of an acre of large, green pasture and an acre of woodland. It was the perfect setting for our imaginations to carry on that story amongst the trees.
In truth, it’s only been in the reflection of my favorite part of the trip and those childhood memories that I’ve found just how deep a touchstone was created on the day I traveled to the real Sherwood Forest.
Six days into my holiday found me well acclimated to several city blocks around Nottingham’s city center and I’d grown very comfortable with that. On Boxing Day the business of an average day is still very minimal and so I chose it as my day to walk down to Nottingham Castle and explore. I had that corner of the city to myself and though the castle (and caves below) were closed, I enjoyed taking in it’s story and the pieces of it that lay within it’s borders, including the Robin Hood Statue and Old Castle Pub.
That exploration was within my comfort zone.
Here is where the bravery comes inā¦
Sherwood Forest is around a 90min bus ride away from Nottingham city center. Not within walking distance, Candice, not by a long shot, LOL.
Thankfully, it’s very easy to figure out how to get from A-B in England. With a brief Google Map plug in, after the curiosity got the better of me, I discovered that there is a specific bus, especially for that trip. The only thing I had to do was walk a few blocks up to the station and get on it! I was a little nervous about the idea of getting there and back again but my heart wouldn’t let me NOT be brave about it.
I must have stood at the sliding door to the Sherwood Arrow for 20min before the driver looked up from his book, smiled, shook his head and pointed to the sign that said “out of order, go to the outside gate”. Sadly, that wasn’t the first time I’d embarrassed myself on holiday but I’m happy to report I’ve learned well how to laugh at things like that and I shared that laugh when I finally made my way round to pay the driver for the round trip.
Once all passengers boarded, I shared the bus with only 3 other people. I welcomed the extra space to fully exhale and settle in for the journey. My travels in Ireland prepared me well for just how quickly the countryside finds you once you hop a bus out of town and with each mile out, the rolling hills with charming towns replaced the hustle and bustle of city center.
My entire being is at home with this space and pace of things. I smile again at the pleasure of a choice well made š
What visibility the rain hindered on the bus ride to Sherwood National Forest, it more than made up for with the lack of other tourists that were in attendance on the grounds that day. I didn’t quite have the place to myself but I never knew otherwise while hiking, in my solitude, along the wooded pathways.
From my first steps onto the grounds, I could feel magic and wonder in the air. There were old stories held within this forest and the fog caused by the days temperature/rain only aided in my imagination of them.
Trees are my absolute favorite creations of nature. I love how deeply and intricately they root, how they communicate with one another and how they forever reach heavenward. Being a big believer in The Force, helps too š The giant, ancient and proud oak, birch and various others did not disappoint me in their majesty and I was awestruck.
The rain didn’t let up on my wanders and the photographer in me had to put her critical eye aside, more than once, to let the photos be what they are. I am not at all disappointed with the outcome because I know that I took my time with the important part in it allā¦absolute presence. Forests have a such a peaceful hum to them and my feet fell in rhythm with it. If there is anything a more tranquil sound than light rain hitting leaves, I’ve not heard it. I spent hours taking in every the site of every tree I could spot and listening to the sounds within the sounds.
Yes, this atmosphere could without a doubt inspire legend.
The Mighty Oak, is the main attraction of this area, and I let my anticipation build a bit before I found my way there.
And queue the main theme from Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves
There was bend in the path leading up to this magnificent tree and as I rounded it, the first notes of piano in Bryan Adams’ hit song “Everything I do, I do it for you” came into my mind. In that space it was easy to imagine a time, when in it’s younger years, that mighty oak could have stood around, unsupported and perhaps even been able to house a canopy hide out. I could picture a campsite under it’s branches and a group of worn journeyers finding rest within that safety.
I’m always quick to get lost in thought and though the rain was steady flowing down the front of my raincoat hood, I allowed myself a few more moments of daydreaming before I continued down the pathway back towards the visitors center.
Still to the same tune, I wondered what it would have been like to make the journey from Nottingham city to the forest, on horseback, to loose an arrow from a longbow, to create community within the majesty of those woods. The tiny trickle of children’s laughter as they ran passed me was a pleasant addition to those thoughts.
What a gift it is when an ordinary day shows you how extraordinary it can be and anytime that includes wandering, I’m in it for the long haul!
I LOVED my time in Sherwood Forest. It was, without a doubt, the most incredible, solitary, walk through the woods I have had up to this point in my life and though, perhaps a little dramatic for me to say, that’s love worth fighting for and I aim to always do just that ā¤
Yellow is the Color of Her Energy
For days now, I have been thinking about a mug of tea. Not having a mug of tea but the specific visual of a specific mug in a specific setting.
I’d taken a photo of it, hadn’t I? I took several pictures of her home that day because it was lovely, warm and embracing, like her.
Her name is Amanda (Amanda R ššļø in my phone) and I had met her a year prior to that mug of tea, at Heart Camp.
Heart Campā¦
My goodness does the title of that monumental (for me) gathering keep proving it’s rawness, it’s reality and it’s preciousness. I have it’s logo tattooed on my arm and I did it at a HEIGHTS of it kind of time, in Chicago, with other members of that family and felt no pain.
But it does hurt sometimes. It hurts in the things time and distance does to us. It hurts in the feeling like it was something that would happen every year and then feeling, for a while, like it might have ended all together. It hurts in how guilty I’ve felt, at times, for being so quiet for so longā¦
The hurt is the depths of it and I’ve grown to realize that you cannot have one without the other because that isn’t what Heart Camp is. And, though I have a touchstone forever on my heart actually named that, all life is it.
Heart Campā¦
We went to visit Amanda at her home that reunion year because she had been recently diagnosed with cancer a few months prior to it and was undergoing a complete lifestyle rebuild to begin to fight it. We wanted to share space with her, hold her and let her know that she would not be alone in that fight. Standing in her back yard, hand in hand, is a feeling I’ll never forget.
It’s been 4 years since that time at her home. I saw her once more, in person, before the world shut down for a while, when she came to my home for a Reiki session. Most people don’t even know that I practice it because universally connected energy/healing, it seems, had to become ‘mainstream’ before it was given credence but Amanda believed in and trusted me and thus, trusted it and that made me confident. We had a deeply, powerful and beautiful time together.
She taught me in those moments, lessons that echo even more today.
First, who we are, exactly who we are is enough…our worth is our own, priceless and not conditioned to anyone else’s determination, it’s sacred.
Secondly, a deep love of self includes the loving of our bodies. The vessel is sacred, the house of our soul and should also be loved, no matter how difficult it might be moment to moment. Powerful!
I can’t go in to much more detail about how her journey has been the past few years because that is her journey/experience.
What I can say is thisā¦a few days ago, Amanda left her vessel, which I believe she loved as best she could until that departure and though the news of that hit with the pang of sadness, the moment I leaned in to her energy, I felt her, stronger than ever, vibrating bright yellow and I know beyond anything else, that when I ask for the guidance of my helpers in my energetic healing practices, she will be among them ā¤
We get to carry eachother into eternity!!
Thank you for the gift of you! I love you Amanda!!
Greetings of the Season
Christmas is an absolute favorite holiday of mine and I know I am not alone in that. No matter where you go during that time of the year, you are sure to find lights, decorations, an overall cheerfulness of people and a little extra magic in the air.
Over the past few years, the above mentioned feeling has only grown!!!
Believe it or not there was a time when I had grown quiet numb to the wonder, the magic and, honestly, dreaded the festiveness a little. It can become really easy to get lost in all of the “should, could, what if and why” of life and drift into an auto pilot of sorts.
My eagerness to celebrate Christmas in England found my spirits at an all time high and there are more than a few movies to blame for that (A Christmas Carol, Harry Potter, Love Actually, The Holiday, etc).
I couldn’t wait to land at Heathrow, see the row houses with lights in the window, visit decorated cathedrals and see/hear “Happy Christmas” as often as possible š
What I found wasn’t exactly what I expected but as I am learning, expectations should be held very loosely so that they have the freedom to, hopefully, exceed all you think possible.
AND Ohhhhhhhhh, Nottingham! (I love and miss you).
Shout out to the wonderful ladies I met at White Rose 5 and Lush, where I made my first purchases of the trip. Thanks for making me feel so welcome in your city š
I’d heard murmurs of a winter market being held just down the street from my accommodations before I left to explore, Day 1, so I knew that would be one of the first sights to see.
It took less than 10min to follow the tram rail down the hill a block and turn the corner to this…
It was overcast (gloomy) and the whimsy of a small, fair style event, back dropped by the incredible architecture of City Hall immediately drew me in. Although still very satisfied by the full English breakfast I started the day with, the aroma of all the freshly made food made my mouth water and I followed my nose. Sounds of laughter rang out from the small ice skating rink that welcomed guests at the entrance. Those sounds mingled well with each vendor’s musical melody and/or joyful chatter as it drifted along the market footpath. Lines of excited patrons could be found waiting for their turn to experience one of the rides, games or a savory/sweet treat.
After much more walking around, I helped myself to one of those treats myself! My friend Ben told me about one of his favorite meal options, halloumi, and so I opted for a portobello burger with fried halloumi and chips. It was incredible!
The smile that had already found permanence on my face widened with each step I took. THIS is why I was here and I soaked in every moment of it!
Ben, the friend I mentioned above, went to University in Nottingham and came into town the next morning for a chat and to offer his own take on the city. We had coffee and a long conversation at the dreamiest little shop with all the charming nooks and atmosphere I could have hoped for. After that, he showed me to and around Waterstones, a 5 floor bookstore. It was pouring rain by the time we exited the bookstore and that is when we parted ways but it was a Friday that I’ll never forget. Thanks BEN ā¤
It being the holiday season may have played a small part in the fact that everyone I encountered was friendly, but I like to think that is just the way they are…lovely and kind…like all of greetings I became so fond of (love, my lovely, darling, my dear, duck). Hearing all of those affectionate terms was very special for a gal like me and the icing on that cake was sharing smiles with tons of families walking around in their Christmas jumpers.
My face is smiling wide once again as I think about those days in Notts!! They were truly, the best gift š
A Milestone Birthday
Last Tuesday I wrote an instagram post for someone very special to me. She read it (in fact she reads just about all my words <3), loved it and asked me later that day how she could save it, as she does her cards, to look back at when she is feeling down.
Although I know she could save it under a tab on Insta, I thought I’d repost it here also, so that everytime she comes here to visit, she can read it again!
THIS post is dedicated to the most important woman in my life, my Momma, Geteia!
Today is her 60th birthday!!!
I swiped the first photo from the archives and have proceeded to fill the rest of the slides with selfies from my phones predetermined folder.
Although they probably only span the past decade, I think they showcase us pretty darn well.
She, always a pillar of love, strength and support with the most beautiful/warm smile Iāve ever seen and always the one holding me up, who in most of these, needed it very much.
Iāve learned more from her life/example than can fit here and weāve learned a great deal more, together and never without a hand to hold!
Iām eternally grateful for the deep friendship thatās accompanied our mother/daughter relationship for 40years now and I love that sheās one of the truest gifts in my life.
Iām very blessed and honored to have her!!!
Thank you for always BEING exactly who you are, my entire life, and for holding my hand until I learned to do the same.
I LOVE YOU 3000 šš«šāØ
Happy Birthday Momma!!!
All the Comforts of Home
As I may have mentioned previously, there wasnāt a lot of planning built in to this trip. Iād love to say it was due to the simplicity of being easy to please but the truth is, I just didnāt want to get it wrong.
This being my first solo trip, I was a little petrified to build an itinerary and I know in the past, thatās why Iād left it to the people who enjoy planning of them. Taking in all the sights, sounds and experiences possible seems like a great way to go about it. After all, you are likely in a place that you will not be in again, around things you might not see again, why not aim for the stars!?
I understand that thought process, I do and I again applaud the traveler that can do just that. The gift of all the traveling I have done has taught me that I am not, always, that kind of traveler, at least, not anymore.
What felt the most important for this trip were the very basics of knowing how I was getting there/back again and where I would lay my head down each night. I know several people who would (and probably did) cringe at my having no other āplansā outside of that but those were the only things I initially cared about.
Within the getting to know myself, these past few years, in regards traveling and beyond, I have, indeed, gotten to know myself! Crazy right!? The largest reveals have been how my body feels when itās heightened (excited, anxious, scared, curious, invigorated, utterly pissed off, etc.) and the reactions that come from those places. The last thing I wanted to do to myself, on my first solo trip, was to disregard the potential of any of those responses by the choosing of too many things to do/see ahead of time.
Building in as much safety as felt right for me and also nurturing my free flow were top of the tier and I have to say that, Iām proud of how it all turned out.
In Nottingham, I had the pleasure of staying at The Best Western Plus on Wollaton. Itās city center location made it ideal for being able get around by walking (my favorite thing), as well as having nearby bus and tram access, should I have needed it.
My room was small and simplistic with the bed, open faced wardrobe w/nooks, the desk/tv stand with drawers and table with chairs. That was all a very cozy kind of practical for me. Everything had itās place and there was enough room to add a few Christmassy decorations for festive cheer.
Not to be left out of this description are the windows, which spanned, almost the entirety of the street facing wall of the room and had the most magical view of old world roof tops and clock dome of City Hall,
AND…the bathroom.
Yes, all bathrooms are essential but this one made me fall in love with the ritual of baths. Iām so grateful for my little hobbity apartment in the States but it was built in 1965ā¦the tub is tiny and the water isnāt warm by the time itās done filling. It seems a simple thing, I am sure, but being able to fill a tub with hot water and then get in said tub without it overflowing into the floor was sheer and utter delight (that I greatly miss).
I chose the full English breakfast as an addition to my accommodation and upon returning to my room (after being very well greeted and served by Mo, another fast friend), I felt calm, safe and ready to venture out into the city that awaited me.
My accommodations for the second week, I have to admit, I had a little help with the choosing of, from a friend that lives in the area (THANKS BEN š ). I am exceedingly grateful for that assist as, amazingly enough, I walked off the bus from Nottingham to Derby, around the corner and at the end of that block, I arrived at the entrance to The Holiday Inn at Riverlights.
The smile and slight chuckle I enjoyed as I made my way to reception was due to the contrast of this cityās arrival and the one prior. It was a great relief to not be quite as disheveled this round.
The elevator dinged open on the top floor, where reception is located (that is until they undergo renovations later his year) and, once again, I was greeted warmly, the time, by the kind and beautiful smile of Billie who told me, after my returned greeting undoubtedly sounded as hurried as the mico machines commercial from my childhood, āIāll tell you about and show you where to find everything, there is no more need to rushā. Maybe I WAS holding my breath a bit š She placed me in her favorite room and instinct told me that I could trust that.
Entering this room brought tears to my eyes. By this 7th day of travel, I had already had the most incredible of times, saw amazing things and met wonderful people. As the lights came on in my new room, the open curtain revealed another spectacular view and I read āWelcome, Candiceā on the television menu screen, I knew I still had 7 more, magical days ahead.
Located, again, at city center, I was able to walk and explore a large majority of it by foot and, if I needed it, the bus stops and station itself were less than 5min from the hotel.
Noticing my pattern of eating dinner (tea) really early out or simply snacking while in Notts, I opted to treat myself this round and have the B,B &D stay. Thatās the bed, breakfast and dinner package. It was the best of decisions and not only did the chefs outdo themselves each meal, I was able to interact with both shifts of the staff, which was a delight!
Pinging back to beginning of the post, as excited as I was about the new adventure of traveling on my own, I also knew there might be a chance that Iād feel a little lonely and/or miss home. As you can see, I didnāt have to worry about that at all.
The kind and brilliant staff at both locations treated me like a friend immediately. Every morning they made sure Iād had a good nightās sleep, had a warm and filling meal to start my day and that I knew which direction I would be heading for the day, also, how best to get there. In the evenings, I was always asked about my day and about my writing. You may say they were ājust doing their jobā but the level of comfort I received within each day made it all the more enjoyable for me and also ensured that slept soundly each night.
Words canāt really express my gratitude for the special role my accommodation choices, and wonderful people therein, played in my practically perfect holiday but Iāll endeavor to try, today and in the posts to come!
Much love and heartfelt thanks to you all ā¤
On Wanderwood Lane 