For days now, I have been thinking about a mug of tea. Not having a mug of tea but the specific visual of a specific mug in a specific setting.
I’d taken a photo of it, hadn’t I? I took several pictures of her home that day because it was lovely, warm and embracing, like her.
Her name is Amanda (Amanda R 💙🏕️ in my phone) and I had met her a year prior to that mug of tea, at Heart Camp.
My goodness does the title of that monumental (for me) gathering keep proving it’s rawness, it’s reality and it’s preciousness. I have it’s logo tattooed on my arm and I did it at a HEIGHTS of it kind of time, in Chicago, with other members of that family and felt no pain.
But it does hurt sometimes. It hurts in the things time and distance does to us. It hurts in the feeling like it was something that would happen every year and then feeling, for a while, like it might have ended all together. It hurts in how guilty I’ve felt, at times, for being so quiet for so long…
The hurt is the depths of it and I’ve grown to realize that you cannot have one without the other because that isn’t what Heart Camp is. And, though I have a touchstone forever on my heart actually named that, all life is it.
We went to visit Amanda at her home that reunion year because she had been recently diagnosed with cancer a few months prior to it and was undergoing a complete lifestyle rebuild to begin to fight it. We wanted to share space with her, hold her and let her know that she would not be alone in that fight. Standing in her back yard, hand in hand, is a feeling I’ll never forget.
It’s been 4 years since that time at her home. I saw her once more, in person, before the world shut down for a while, when she came to my home for a Reiki session. Most people don’t even know that I practice it because universally connected energy/healing, it seems, had to become ‘mainstream’ before it was given credence but Amanda believed in and trusted me and thus, trusted it and that made me confident. We had a deeply, powerful and beautiful time together.
She taught me in those moments, lessons that echo even more today.
First, who we are, exactly who we are is enough…our worth is our own, priceless and not conditioned to anyone else’s determination, it’s sacred.
Secondly, a deep love of self includes the loving of our bodies. The vessel is sacred, the house of our soul and should also be loved, no matter how difficult it might be moment to moment. Powerful!
I can’t go in to much more detail about how her journey has been the past few years because that is her journey/experience.
What I can say is this…a few days ago, Amanda left her vessel, which I believe she loved as best she could until that departure and though the news of that hit with the pang of sadness, the moment I leaned in to her energy, I felt her, stronger than ever, vibrating bright yellow and I know beyond anything else, that when I ask for the guidance of my helpers in my energetic healing practices, she will be among them ❤
We get to carry eachother into eternity!!
Thank you for the gift of you! I love you Amanda!!